Reaching out

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Perspective

In the post below, note how I said that God was going to do something big and miraculous through this situation, and he didn't disappoint.

Upon reading a facebook post of mine about how I was going to be effectively homeless at the end of January, a dear friend offered up her home for my enjoyment while I save money and look for a new place. I am now sitting on a my futon in the Upper West Side living room of my friend's place, where I have been living for nearly two weeks now with her and her two beautiful boys.

Each time I step out of the train at Central Park West, walk over one block, and take the elevator up to be greeted at the door by two sweet hilarious preschool aged kids, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and praise for God's provision. I am now living in the most convenient location I can imagine for my work, and I am loving every minute of the company of a friend I admire in so many ways. (I'm also completely enamored by the ability to do laundry by simply taking an elevator down four floors and dropping it in the washer, then going back home to watch TV and be productive while it washes....)

I've been doing a lot of tutoring in homes I feel I could write volumes about, and with kids who are functioning nowhere near their grade level, but I will try to be more disciplined in writing those stories as they happen because there are too many things I learn to fit into one blog post. Suffice it to say that being in a home where Mom doesn't work, Dad's in jail, there are six kids from infant to seventeen, and the TV is the only thing drowning out the constant high-volume screaming has made me realize more than ever how privileged I am. Here I was worried about having a place to stay, when I knew that ANY situation God placed me in would be better than the dirty apartment in which this family resides. My God is way too good to me.

I also want to shout out my friends who helped me move for making me feel so loved. Chris, Courtney, and Hilton showed up at my apartment on a Saturday morning so they could spend the beautiful day carting my things between apartments, a storage unit, and a UHaul truck. Elizabeth called me upon finishing her work for the day and asked if she could join the party. None of these friends asked for anything out of the deal, they were simply loving. Elizabeth even went so far as to treat me to Shake Shack so I could relax once it was all said and done. Upon my return to my new place, I walked in to find that Karen had already organized my things and had bought me a welcome present. I've never been so overjoyed from the unconditional love my God gives me and manifests through my friends. I do not know how I would function without them.

I will do my best to be more diligent in updating this blog, as I daily have stories I could tell, but for now, I'm fighting sleep and am way past my bedtime

A couple of New England days

Four years ago I posted this blog about how fantastic Boston is.

Ever since, I've talked about moving there. The summer after NYC, I went to New England for two months, which rocked my world on so many levels and brought the most amazing people into my life. I cannot imagine how different things would be if I'd have stayed in Louisiana or come back to New York that summer. Truth is, though, that love for Boston was what pushed me over the edge when making decisions about where to be a summer missionary that second year. God used images I couldn't get of my brain, baseball, people, and lots of slaps in the face to send me there.

I love the history, the ocean breezes, the accents, the scent of salt water, the seagulls, the immense passion for EVERYTHING (seriously, people in New England are passionate about anything they like- which I why I fit in so well with them). I just wish folks would transfer that passion into something like, oh, I dunno, loving Jesus. I tell you if all of the New Englanders would simply fall in in love with the Lord, they'd start workin on winning the world over so fast we wouldn't know what hit us.

I really could go on for hours and hours and hours and hours and ramble and go on and on and on and on and on about how completely flabbergasted I am in how God has brought people into my life in the last seven years from Baton Rouge, Providence, Boston, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Mississippi, etc. and twisted our lives around and intertwined them in ways that completely blow my mind. I feel like, at the root of it all, is New England. It seems to anchor all these connections somehow. Like all roads lead to Worcester or something like that.

Because of the ways God has used the next region north, I have always assumed he's going to have me land there at some point, even if only for a few years. And this may be the case. I have absolutely no opposition to it WHATSOEVER. Believe me, I'd love to go to more Red Sox games.

The point of this particular post is this: I don't think I'm moving there any time soon.

This is a new revelation. And a great one. One I've been praying for.

You see, I LOVE New York in immense ways I cannot describe. I wont even bother trying. Suffice it to say, this place feels like home and always has. I know I won't be here forever, or at least, I don't plan to be, but lately, with all the transitions in my life, I've been praying that God would show me if it is time to bow out or if it is time to settle in. And the overwhelming answer is SETTLE IN.

Having had this feeling for the past few months, and particularly since my return from Chicago, have become pretty comfortable in it. THAT SAID I knew that hopping the Lucky Star to Boston for the Red Sox game was going to be testy. I could see myself getting that same feeling I always get when I arrive at South Station, where I just KNOW I have to move there. But I didn't.

Upon my arrival, I had a couple of hours before the next train to Providence, so I prayer walked around the common, Chinatown, the meeting house, Quincy market, etc. During that time I kept praying God would show me if I was supposed to be in that city, and what needs he would reveal to me there in the meantime. I prayed and prayed and prayed, but I kept thinking "I kinda wish I was still in New York, I miss it already." This was foreign to me, I'm in BOSTON Im supposed to overwhelmingly excited to be there. But I wasn't. I loved it still, and I had a great time, but even in Fenway, it was like, God was saying "I know you love it here, but it's not the time." and I was PERFECTLY okay with that.

I'm super thankful for this trip, and the time I got to spend with Maria, who is AMAZING. I'm thankful for the long walk around Providence I took this morning (I really could write a whole post about that). I'm thankful for great weather, and Fenway Park. I'm thankful for the comfy megabus ride home (so much better than the Lucky Star ride there).

Most of all, I am thankful that God confirmed what I've been suspecting all along.

I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Returned Blessings

I've had time for a social life lately. This has been amazing. In the midst of that, I've had much more time to spend in the Lower East Side. This has provided opportunity after opportunity to try new places, see new faces, and really plug into the neighborhood of my beloved church. It has also made me have a strong itch to move into the area. This is one of my most recent prayers: that God would provide a way for me to have affordable housing near Graffiti, as I have really, more than ever, seen the importance lately of living near my church. I'm starting to see people we minister to out and about, and have also had the opportunity to open up conversation with some folks who are really interested in what goes on there. It's been beautiful.

Tonight, I had an experience that really shook up the way I feel about what I do at Graffiti, in a good way.

Mackenzie and I had decided to spend the night shopping for cupcakes and visiting Chris at work, but when we met up after my super-awesome mani/pedi/massage time, she was hungry for dinner. Me, having just had my nails done, and knowing we were going for both cupcakes and ice cream, suggested we get something cheap and light.

We ended up at the neighborhood favorite, Odessa. I've been there a thousand times, and each time I love how it makes me feel at home. How I feel like I have a place where the faces are familiar and the food is comfortable.

After ordering our dinner, in walked Eddie. Eddie is a guy who is at Graffiti's Wednesday Night Meal every week, and has been since long before I was at Graffiti. If he goes missing for a little while, I make sure I give him a hard time about it. We tease each other often. As he sat down, I shouted across the diner, "Hey Eddie, are you in here to cause trouble?" He turned and made some sarcastic remark I couldn't make out (Eddie is sometimes really hard to understand). We talked across the restaurant a few more times during dinner, making jokes, cutting up.... At one point, I saw him pointing at me and Mackenzie and whispering something to the waiter . I joked, "Eddie, what on earth kinda trouble you trying to start??? Who you telling that guy about us??!!"

"Aww hush," he responded. "Nothing, I'm not telling him nothing."

I found myself at one point wondering "Hmm, maybe it'd be nice if we paid for Eddie's dinner, I mean, he comes to our free meals and those sorts of things, it might be nice to cover his check for him." Judgmental of me, I guess, assuming that eating out was probably something he couldn't afford to do. After all, it's really not something I could afford to do.

As Eddie stood up to leave, Mackenzie and I were still waiting on the waiter to bring us our bill. She had slipped away for a second, and Eddie turned to me and said "Don't you worry about your food, neither of you, I got it covered." Puzzled, I looked at him and said, "huh?" (like I said, sometimes Eddie's hard to understand).

"I said, both of you, your meal is paid for, don't worry about it."

As he walked out the door, I looked at the waiter and said "Did that guy just buy us dinner?"

"Yeah, he did," said the man at the counter.

All these years of ministering to this person, and on a night when I was worried about dinner because I'd spent my money on something frivolous (mani/pedi/massage, remember?), he buys me a meal. My heart was bursting. I cannot believe that here I was, worried about him paying for his own bill, then worried about mine, and he covered both. It's amazing how God takes the little things we do and turns them into blessings.

Lots of people have bought me food over the years. Many times, it has been meaningful, and at times of need, but no meal that was purchased for my by any other person has ever meant as much as this one.

Theology on Tap, among other things

I've been trying to plug into my neighborhood.

Since I can't afford to live in the neighborhood near Graffiti, I figure it is important to get to know my neighbors where I live and work most of the time. It's not easy to do in New York, but if you try hard enough, you can make even a big city feel like a small town by frequenting the same places.

I've always loved the old movie theatre up the street. I go there every Thursday. This week's choice is Shutter Island. I'm pretty pumped about that. Leonardo DiCaprio + Martin Scorcese + a story written by Dennis Lehane + Boston accents = my kinda show. I hope not to be disappointed.

I have been trying to eat out in the area more. Not that I need to spend the money, but when I do, I'd like for it to be in common places.

I got a library card and have frequented that building often.

I'm starting to see my customers out and about. This is my first sign that I'm getting somewhere with this "small town" concept.

Monday night, I went to "Theology on Tap," which was a lecture/discussion lead by a Priest on Smith Street at an Irish Pub. Since I grew up in South Louisiana, and have always WANTED to learn more about the Catholic culture I was so immersed in but never a part of, I decided to check it out. With Chelsea backing out at the last minute because she had to pack, I almost ended up at Starbucks for the night instead. I'm glad I didn't.

I met wonderful people from the start, one of whom turned out to be from Louisiana AND works for a non-profit who may or may not be hiring....

Then, after the very entertaining Priest, Father Joel, gave a thirty minute talk on church structure and function of basic Catholic traditions, we had an intense group-wide discussion on a variety of topics. One man brought up the idea that Christians were so much more joyful in the midst of persecution in Roman times than they are today. Someone then pointed out that the Christians who are still being persecuted today are much more joyful than those of us who take it for granted. THEN, another man added that he has an ultimate joy from having his own personal relationship with the Lord, and he wants to share that with everyone he comes into contact with.

I was glad he said that.

Then, I met a priest who does ministry near Graffiti with families in the neighborhood. That in itself made it worth going to. I love meeting people who work with my same people.

And there was free food.

All that to say, I plan on going more consistently to things like that in the Carroll Gardens/Boerum Hill/Cobble Hill area. The more I get to know the people and places, the more at home I can feel. I've just realized I have to be deliberate about it. I love my 'hood, and I want to stay there for as long as I'm in New York- Lord Willing, which says a lot coming from someone as stir-crazy as myself.

Perhaps I've come a long way...

I got to be in that number

Because my church is awesome, someone anonymously donated money to fly me home to watch the Superbowl with my family and celebrate in my city. It was truly amazing. I got the chance to see a team carry a group of people to joy in a way I'm sure no team has ever done before.

I also got to see God's provision once again. I learned a lot from this experience.

1. It's okay that I don't live in New Orleans, because when it comes down to it, he'll provide a way for me to be there for the important things. So as much as I miss home and it's luxuries, and the people there, I still get to enjoy them often enough to maintain that appreciation.

2. The Lord provides in the most unexpected ways. I have no idea who paid for that trip, but it's cool that they did.

3. Jesus is a lot like the Saints players, but way bigger and more important. I'd lose no respect for any of those players if after the game and the parade, they had ducked off to their homes without ever talking to a fan. It's hard for them to live regular lives. BUT they didn't. All of them take time out to see the fans, talk to the fans, spend time with the fans, and be a part of the city. In the same way, Jesus has every right to live high and mighty and have no interaction with us whatsoever, but he DOESN'T, he wants to be a part of our lives, daily, and we should accept that offer.

4. If Heaven is anything like the city of New Orleans after that game, minus the alcohol, then boy are we in for a treat. I'm pretty excited about that celebration. I wanna be in THAT number!

In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out what it is he's got going for me here on Earth. I've REALLY been considering going back to school for journalism. It was my original major, it's what I love, and I think it'd be a job I'd be good at and enjoy. I have enough connections in the media industry that I could find good internships. The ultimate goal, of course, would be to get a job at either WWL or the Times Picayune, but that's after years of experience and exploring the world through other outlets. So prayer during this decision making time would be helpful.

I'm also in the process of designing business cards, which cost money, so I am praying I make the right decision and find a way to pay for them. They are cheap, but still, cost money. But, of course, God always seems to provide a way for me to get out of financial crunches, so lets hope he does so again.

Houseguests and Such

So, life has been super busy this past week or so.  It reminds me of why I love living in New York.

Last Tuesday, I worked a total of 14 hours between Barnes and Noble and working for Tricia, got home at midnight, went to work from 9 am to 5:30 pm the next day, then to Wednesday night stuff at church.  That night, I relaxed with a cup of cocoa, a warm blanket, and a John Krasenzki movie.  

I went on to work Thursday and Friday, and welcomed houseguests Friday night.  They've been here ever since, so I've spent a lot of time getting to enjoy New York, including a broadway show, and a room full of LSU fans watching the amazing Georgia.  We also went to the Brooklyn Bus Festival, and free admission to the transit museum (ummm, yes please!).  It's been great.  

Today was after-school, and of course, it made me smile :)  Those kids just warm my heart so much.  I wish I could just be with them every day.  Tuesday is the only day I dread my Barnes and Noble job, because it means I am missing the after-school program.  We talked about making sacrifices and turning away from ourselves today, which was really cool. Chris and I are trying to come up with ideas for our Sunday afternoon outings for the semester, and it is a lot harder than it seems, but I've been praying that we find some fun places to go and things to do where we can really spend time with the youth and pour love into them.  

The joy I have from knowing I am following my calling to be here at this phase of my life is overwhelming. I cannot express it in a way anyone can understand.  Taylor called me into his office today just to talk, and we talked about what it's been like and the emotions I've dealt with and just how hard it really is to step out on faith, but the rewards are so great and I am so thankful.  I really have the best and most supportive church family a girl could ask for.  I love them so much.  

Can't Put a Price on What it's Worth

First trip home is over.

For the first few days I was in Louisiana, I couldn't wait to come back.  I wanted the comforts I've grown accustomed to.  I wanted my bridges.  I wanted my bedroom.  I wanted Graffiti. 

but by Wednesday or so, I was enjoying my home territory once again.  

The rain, the humidity, the heat... no, I don't miss those.  It's the sights, the sounds, even the smells, and most of all, it's the people. 

I LOVE our culture.  I love sharing it with New Yorkers.  I often refer to myself as an ambassador of the greatest place in the country.  No one can mistake my loyalties. 

Dan and Maddie's wedding was as great a reunion as I had expected it to be.  I realized just how much I love my friends from college, and just how much I have been blessed to have them.  I cannot imagine what the last five years of my life would have been like had I never met those people.  The memories are sweet, and the time I get to reminisce with them even sweeter.  After the wedding, we went to the Chimes and just talked and laughed and enjoyed good company.  I am thankful for that opportunity.  No plane ticket would be too expensive to experience that sort of joy.  

Now I'm back in New York, reacquainting myself with the loves I have here.  I look forward to what the next several months of my life may hold. 

I also miss people

Despite having Charlee, John, Bethany, Jessica, and Kenny here to keep me sane (okay, and I know Kenny and I do not keep each other sane, we usually end up driving each other crazy, but that is beside the point), I have many people I miss.

Mostly Laura Little, because not only does she not live around me, but I cannot simply pick up the phone and call her when I need her.  I miss her a lot, and could really use one of her talks or dinners right about now. 

That is all.

Espresso Truffles and Good Friends Getting me through.

Most days fly by.  Really, mostly because it takes me so long to get my kids to settle into class that I don't have time to do anything productive and I feel like time has flown.

I have four manageable classes, and two that I want to throw from my third story window most of the time. 

I love these kids and this work, but I'm not so sure I can see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I am missing social work and ministry, and am trying to figure out if maybe I am supposed to be working with youth on a different level. 

I miss writing as well.  I miss it a lot.  

I am to stir-crazy for a job that requires being in the same place all day every day.  I feel trapped in this building.  I don't mind the work, but even though I am more productive when I am here, come 2:30, I'm running for the door.  

Prep work can come later.  

I don't know where I'd be in this city without Charlee, John, and Bethany.  I have run to all of them countless times already since I've been here.  They keep me sane.  I spend more money crossing that bridge than I've ever spent before.  Who knew you could need a toll tag just to afford a social life?  

Unlike last semester, I am actually finding that I can be more productive when I am sitting on my couch at home than I can when I am here.  Probably because, with my parents' schedules the way they are, I practically live alone.  

Really, I live in the same house with them and I went five days last week without seeing either one of them.  It's just the way it falls. My routine has established itself though, and I am thankful for it.  Not only has it established itself, but it has done so with room for running, and a social life.  Go figure! 

I also spend countless hours at Starbucks.  

This new unique stress level has also helped me to refocus in my relationship with Jesus, which is very important.  I am thankful for stress when that is the result. 

I'm also wearing a size 8 in pants for the first time since 6th grade.  Thank you stress....

Graffiti

My church is pretty much amazing. The people there come from every possible background, and it's so interesting to see how, as children of God, we are all one in the same, despite our differences. The general atomosphere of it all is undescribable. I cannot imagine how anyone could ever possibly feel uncomfortable there.

Today we had a meal after small group time. I made Potato Salad, South Louisiana Style... It went over pretty well, from what I could tell, unless everyone was lying to make me feel better. Either way, I enjoyed it, and since I don't cook very often, when something I make goes over well, I am very proud. (Like that macaroni casserole for thanksgiving.....)

Back to the point.

Fellowship meals at my church are so great. There are no cliques. No particular person is expected to sit by any other particular people. This is how it should always be at a church. Sure, after the meal is done we sortof migrated over toward our friends, but eating a meal together is one of the best ways to get to know other people, so there is no reason not to sit by at least one person you don't know very well.

We do the same thing on Wednesday nights, only the Wednesday meal is more of a community outreach, and it's not potluck.

People from the neighborhood and the church come in and get a free hot meal, which is served to them at the table by volunteers from within the church. This is such a special time to me, as it is to the other summer missionaries. We really get to know the people we are reaching out to and thier stories. Many of the people who come don't have much of anything or anyone, and it's such a great time for them to get to come and tell us their stories. I love to hear what they have to say. We've got former artists, pilots, you name it. There is so much to learn from these people and I'm so glad I get the opportunity to do it. After the meal, there is a Bible study, which has become one of my favorite times of the week. Some people don't stay, but there are many that do.

Saturdays is F.L.I.P. (Free Lunch in the Park). The church is but a half a block away from Tompkins Square Park, which is a charming little place. Many people live in the park, or in squats and tenaments around it. On Saturdays, volunteers from Graffiti, and mission teams, prepare a bag lunch, for these people. They line up in massive numbers. Then Vaughn, one of the most faithful and amazing servant-hearted people I've ever met, leads a Bible study for those that want to stay. If ever you are in New York on a Saturday, you should contact the church about helping with FLIP because it is a true blessing.

This weekend was Graffiti's first Paint the Town project. Throughout the week a mission team helped paint the school at the corner of our block: St. Brigids. Then on Saturday, we invited people from the church and the community to help us finish painting and to do some general cleaning, gum scraping, tape removing, etc.... We didn't have as many show up as expected, but it all got done.

One of the guys who came to help was someone I'd called a few weeks ago when looking for volunteers. He told me he had work the night before, but he'd be there. I told him it was okay if he couldn't make it, or if he wanted to sleep in and come by later on, but he insisted it would be no problem. Sure enough, he got off work at 7, and was at church at 9, having only one hour of sleep, and ready and willing to do whatever was needed of him.

This is the type of person we should all look up to.

I'm so thankful that God has blessed me with a church in the city with such amazing people who have a heart to serve the community. There are a million more things I could talk about, but you'd get sick of reading them. Check out the website if you get a chance though!