Soaring

So for the last few days I've been extra busy.  My best friend Jessica is in town, and between working, then going to Long Island, then hanging out with her, I've been on the go, which has been FABULOUS.  I've gotten to see so many of my favorite people and do so many of my favorite things, and it's been a great relief from the dreary winter boredom I've been experiencing lately (though I am SO over this cold weather!).

Saturday I celebrated a friend who survived a rough couple of years of single-momhood and divorce byt soaring into a new life and going to TRAPEZE SCHOOL with her.  I think I'm hooked!

I was also nominated by Ashley  for a Liebster Award, and I don't have anyone to pass the nomination on to yet, as I'm new to the blogging community, but I'll answer the questions she was posted as soon as things settle down and I'm no longer hosting a housegues

Perspective

In the post below, note how I said that God was going to do something big and miraculous through this situation, and he didn't disappoint.

Upon reading a facebook post of mine about how I was going to be effectively homeless at the end of January, a dear friend offered up her home for my enjoyment while I save money and look for a new place. I am now sitting on a my futon in the Upper West Side living room of my friend's place, where I have been living for nearly two weeks now with her and her two beautiful boys.

Each time I step out of the train at Central Park West, walk over one block, and take the elevator up to be greeted at the door by two sweet hilarious preschool aged kids, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and praise for God's provision. I am now living in the most convenient location I can imagine for my work, and I am loving every minute of the company of a friend I admire in so many ways. (I'm also completely enamored by the ability to do laundry by simply taking an elevator down four floors and dropping it in the washer, then going back home to watch TV and be productive while it washes....)

I've been doing a lot of tutoring in homes I feel I could write volumes about, and with kids who are functioning nowhere near their grade level, but I will try to be more disciplined in writing those stories as they happen because there are too many things I learn to fit into one blog post. Suffice it to say that being in a home where Mom doesn't work, Dad's in jail, there are six kids from infant to seventeen, and the TV is the only thing drowning out the constant high-volume screaming has made me realize more than ever how privileged I am. Here I was worried about having a place to stay, when I knew that ANY situation God placed me in would be better than the dirty apartment in which this family resides. My God is way too good to me.

I also want to shout out my friends who helped me move for making me feel so loved. Chris, Courtney, and Hilton showed up at my apartment on a Saturday morning so they could spend the beautiful day carting my things between apartments, a storage unit, and a UHaul truck. Elizabeth called me upon finishing her work for the day and asked if she could join the party. None of these friends asked for anything out of the deal, they were simply loving. Elizabeth even went so far as to treat me to Shake Shack so I could relax once it was all said and done. Upon my return to my new place, I walked in to find that Karen had already organized my things and had bought me a welcome present. I've never been so overjoyed from the unconditional love my God gives me and manifests through my friends. I do not know how I would function without them.

I will do my best to be more diligent in updating this blog, as I daily have stories I could tell, but for now, I'm fighting sleep and am way past my bedtime

A couple of New England days

Four years ago I posted this blog about how fantastic Boston is.

Ever since, I've talked about moving there. The summer after NYC, I went to New England for two months, which rocked my world on so many levels and brought the most amazing people into my life. I cannot imagine how different things would be if I'd have stayed in Louisiana or come back to New York that summer. Truth is, though, that love for Boston was what pushed me over the edge when making decisions about where to be a summer missionary that second year. God used images I couldn't get of my brain, baseball, people, and lots of slaps in the face to send me there.

I love the history, the ocean breezes, the accents, the scent of salt water, the seagulls, the immense passion for EVERYTHING (seriously, people in New England are passionate about anything they like- which I why I fit in so well with them). I just wish folks would transfer that passion into something like, oh, I dunno, loving Jesus. I tell you if all of the New Englanders would simply fall in in love with the Lord, they'd start workin on winning the world over so fast we wouldn't know what hit us.

I really could go on for hours and hours and hours and hours and ramble and go on and on and on and on and on about how completely flabbergasted I am in how God has brought people into my life in the last seven years from Baton Rouge, Providence, Boston, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Mississippi, etc. and twisted our lives around and intertwined them in ways that completely blow my mind. I feel like, at the root of it all, is New England. It seems to anchor all these connections somehow. Like all roads lead to Worcester or something like that.

Because of the ways God has used the next region north, I have always assumed he's going to have me land there at some point, even if only for a few years. And this may be the case. I have absolutely no opposition to it WHATSOEVER. Believe me, I'd love to go to more Red Sox games.

The point of this particular post is this: I don't think I'm moving there any time soon.

This is a new revelation. And a great one. One I've been praying for.

You see, I LOVE New York in immense ways I cannot describe. I wont even bother trying. Suffice it to say, this place feels like home and always has. I know I won't be here forever, or at least, I don't plan to be, but lately, with all the transitions in my life, I've been praying that God would show me if it is time to bow out or if it is time to settle in. And the overwhelming answer is SETTLE IN.

Having had this feeling for the past few months, and particularly since my return from Chicago, have become pretty comfortable in it. THAT SAID I knew that hopping the Lucky Star to Boston for the Red Sox game was going to be testy. I could see myself getting that same feeling I always get when I arrive at South Station, where I just KNOW I have to move there. But I didn't.

Upon my arrival, I had a couple of hours before the next train to Providence, so I prayer walked around the common, Chinatown, the meeting house, Quincy market, etc. During that time I kept praying God would show me if I was supposed to be in that city, and what needs he would reveal to me there in the meantime. I prayed and prayed and prayed, but I kept thinking "I kinda wish I was still in New York, I miss it already." This was foreign to me, I'm in BOSTON Im supposed to overwhelmingly excited to be there. But I wasn't. I loved it still, and I had a great time, but even in Fenway, it was like, God was saying "I know you love it here, but it's not the time." and I was PERFECTLY okay with that.

I'm super thankful for this trip, and the time I got to spend with Maria, who is AMAZING. I'm thankful for the long walk around Providence I took this morning (I really could write a whole post about that). I'm thankful for great weather, and Fenway Park. I'm thankful for the comfy megabus ride home (so much better than the Lucky Star ride there).

Most of all, I am thankful that God confirmed what I've been suspecting all along.

I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Returned Blessings

I've had time for a social life lately. This has been amazing. In the midst of that, I've had much more time to spend in the Lower East Side. This has provided opportunity after opportunity to try new places, see new faces, and really plug into the neighborhood of my beloved church. It has also made me have a strong itch to move into the area. This is one of my most recent prayers: that God would provide a way for me to have affordable housing near Graffiti, as I have really, more than ever, seen the importance lately of living near my church. I'm starting to see people we minister to out and about, and have also had the opportunity to open up conversation with some folks who are really interested in what goes on there. It's been beautiful.

Tonight, I had an experience that really shook up the way I feel about what I do at Graffiti, in a good way.

Mackenzie and I had decided to spend the night shopping for cupcakes and visiting Chris at work, but when we met up after my super-awesome mani/pedi/massage time, she was hungry for dinner. Me, having just had my nails done, and knowing we were going for both cupcakes and ice cream, suggested we get something cheap and light.

We ended up at the neighborhood favorite, Odessa. I've been there a thousand times, and each time I love how it makes me feel at home. How I feel like I have a place where the faces are familiar and the food is comfortable.

After ordering our dinner, in walked Eddie. Eddie is a guy who is at Graffiti's Wednesday Night Meal every week, and has been since long before I was at Graffiti. If he goes missing for a little while, I make sure I give him a hard time about it. We tease each other often. As he sat down, I shouted across the diner, "Hey Eddie, are you in here to cause trouble?" He turned and made some sarcastic remark I couldn't make out (Eddie is sometimes really hard to understand). We talked across the restaurant a few more times during dinner, making jokes, cutting up.... At one point, I saw him pointing at me and Mackenzie and whispering something to the waiter . I joked, "Eddie, what on earth kinda trouble you trying to start??? Who you telling that guy about us??!!"

"Aww hush," he responded. "Nothing, I'm not telling him nothing."

I found myself at one point wondering "Hmm, maybe it'd be nice if we paid for Eddie's dinner, I mean, he comes to our free meals and those sorts of things, it might be nice to cover his check for him." Judgmental of me, I guess, assuming that eating out was probably something he couldn't afford to do. After all, it's really not something I could afford to do.

As Eddie stood up to leave, Mackenzie and I were still waiting on the waiter to bring us our bill. She had slipped away for a second, and Eddie turned to me and said "Don't you worry about your food, neither of you, I got it covered." Puzzled, I looked at him and said, "huh?" (like I said, sometimes Eddie's hard to understand).

"I said, both of you, your meal is paid for, don't worry about it."

As he walked out the door, I looked at the waiter and said "Did that guy just buy us dinner?"

"Yeah, he did," said the man at the counter.

All these years of ministering to this person, and on a night when I was worried about dinner because I'd spent my money on something frivolous (mani/pedi/massage, remember?), he buys me a meal. My heart was bursting. I cannot believe that here I was, worried about him paying for his own bill, then worried about mine, and he covered both. It's amazing how God takes the little things we do and turns them into blessings.

Lots of people have bought me food over the years. Many times, it has been meaningful, and at times of need, but no meal that was purchased for my by any other person has ever meant as much as this one.

Getting Used to Things

I've just returned from my second trip home since moving to New York.

For years, landing at JFK has brought a sense of home to my heart, long before moving, but this time, it felt extra strong. I needed that boost.

Trips home always remind me of the things I miss, and how much simpler life was when I was working, living for free, and had a solid group of friends to fall back on. I enjoyed the culture of my ultra-cool hometown/state, and spent time with people I love. It's hard to leave that, and when you're broke and not exactly sure where rent money is coming from, it's even more difficult.

Then, I landed, and I remembered, immediately, like a rush of water, just how at-home I am in New York, and how the Lord has been showing me that for years. When I am here, I see him in a whole different light, and he uses the people around me to reveal himself in that way.

Do I think he will keep me here forever? No.

Do I know where he will send me next? I have my ideas, but No.

This transitional point in life is rough, but his guidance has led me to believe that everything will work out. Somehow, the bills get paid. Somehow, I'm not gonna end up old and bitter and alone. His perfect plan never ceases to amaze me, and the way he's used this city to reveal that to me is something I could not be more thankful for.

On a side note: Laura's wedding was beautiful, and it was fantastic to see so many people I don't get to see very often. Getting to drive (and for MANY hours) was amazing too. I forgot just how much I look forward to road trips by myself as reflection time, and time for prayer. I was the only single woman at this wedding, literally, so the Lord and I, as always, had some long heated discussions on that area of my life while driving through the interstates of Louisiana and Mississippi (he of course, always has to remind me to be patient and to stop looking, which I, of course, am still learning to do). Overall though, I enjoyed the trip, and the people, but I am glad to be back in NY working with the youth. I missed them a whole bunch.

Houseguests and Such

So, life has been super busy this past week or so.  It reminds me of why I love living in New York.

Last Tuesday, I worked a total of 14 hours between Barnes and Noble and working for Tricia, got home at midnight, went to work from 9 am to 5:30 pm the next day, then to Wednesday night stuff at church.  That night, I relaxed with a cup of cocoa, a warm blanket, and a John Krasenzki movie.  

I went on to work Thursday and Friday, and welcomed houseguests Friday night.  They've been here ever since, so I've spent a lot of time getting to enjoy New York, including a broadway show, and a room full of LSU fans watching the amazing Georgia.  We also went to the Brooklyn Bus Festival, and free admission to the transit museum (ummm, yes please!).  It's been great.  

Today was after-school, and of course, it made me smile :)  Those kids just warm my heart so much.  I wish I could just be with them every day.  Tuesday is the only day I dread my Barnes and Noble job, because it means I am missing the after-school program.  We talked about making sacrifices and turning away from ourselves today, which was really cool. Chris and I are trying to come up with ideas for our Sunday afternoon outings for the semester, and it is a lot harder than it seems, but I've been praying that we find some fun places to go and things to do where we can really spend time with the youth and pour love into them.  

The joy I have from knowing I am following my calling to be here at this phase of my life is overwhelming. I cannot express it in a way anyone can understand.  Taylor called me into his office today just to talk, and we talked about what it's been like and the emotions I've dealt with and just how hard it really is to step out on faith, but the rewards are so great and I am so thankful.  I really have the best and most supportive church family a girl could ask for.  I love them so much.  

Somewhere between New York City and Chicago

I love Chicago.

It's different. It's not what I expected it to be. It feels smaller than I had anticipated.

But I love Chicago.

As far as feeling like a turn-of-the-20th Century midwestern town, it's right on, and I love it for that reason. I haven't gotten to explore much at this point, but I am enjoying what I've experienced so far.

Most of all, I'm enjoying Jessica time. I miss mer a lot.

Last night, my new friend Tommy that I met in Puerto Rico (but lives here), took us out for a little bit of an insider perspective of things, as well as a great dinner. He and his friend Roy were lots of fun, and they've been here for a long time, so it was kinda neat to hear the stories they had.

We did lots of walking, talking, and drinking coffee.

Or in Jeopardy terms: What are Danielle's three favorite things to do in a big city?

After the dinner we had (which is at a place known for its large portions), it was nice to just stroll along the river and enjoy the city lights while getting to spend time with fantastic people. It reminded me of some nights I've had in New York this summer (most of which have involved frozen yogurt). The difference is, here, I'm exploring somewhere new, which makes it even sweeter.

On the flight over, I slept as always, except about forty-five minutes into the flight, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. This normally, would frustrate the heck out of me, seeing as how I prefer to sleep from takeoff to touchdown. This time though, I decided to have some quality God time. I was listening to a worship playlist on my iPod and really thinking about the words in some of those songs, and how lately, despite serving as a missionary and enjoying the heck out of it, I've been a bit stale in my relationship with him. It's been driving me nuts. On the plane though, I started to get it. I started to really see the things he's done in my life. I broke out my Bible and started reading. As someone who normally does this daily, it shouldn't seem like a big deal, but like I said, stale lately. Most of my recent Bible reading hasn't been with the heart I know I should have.

I normally always choose an aisle seat, but for some reason yesterday when I got on the plane (and Southwest lets you choose as you get on), I decided to sit by the window. I stared out over the view and thought of all the things I've been blessed with, and the experiences I've had, and I was reminded to stop feeling sorry for myself. I cannot imagine having a greater life. Why am I trying to dwell on the things I cannot control and make myself miserable, when I could just as easily be admiring the blessings and realizing what it is I have. Even some of the things I think I want in my life, when I really look at it, I don't have any need for right now. I should enjoy being young and single in a new city, and all of the opportunities that lie within that.

So my Chicago experience so far hasn't been tainted with any negativity, and I feel my stale period coming to an end (thank goodness!).

Can't Put a Price on What it's Worth

First trip home is over.

For the first few days I was in Louisiana, I couldn't wait to come back.  I wanted the comforts I've grown accustomed to.  I wanted my bridges.  I wanted my bedroom.  I wanted Graffiti. 

but by Wednesday or so, I was enjoying my home territory once again.  

The rain, the humidity, the heat... no, I don't miss those.  It's the sights, the sounds, even the smells, and most of all, it's the people. 

I LOVE our culture.  I love sharing it with New Yorkers.  I often refer to myself as an ambassador of the greatest place in the country.  No one can mistake my loyalties. 

Dan and Maddie's wedding was as great a reunion as I had expected it to be.  I realized just how much I love my friends from college, and just how much I have been blessed to have them.  I cannot imagine what the last five years of my life would have been like had I never met those people.  The memories are sweet, and the time I get to reminisce with them even sweeter.  After the wedding, we went to the Chimes and just talked and laughed and enjoyed good company.  I am thankful for that opportunity.  No plane ticket would be too expensive to experience that sort of joy.  

Now I'm back in New York, reacquainting myself with the loves I have here.  I look forward to what the next several months of my life may hold. 

Purple

My bedroom is purple.  I will post pictures soon.

Cody is here in place of Chris, while he is off adventuring on work-related trips for the next two weeks (camping in Colorado, mission trip in Puerto Rico--- hard life...).  Anyway, she came by on Saturday and helped me settle on a color, and then put it on the walls.  We had a great time, and considering I was planning on painting alone, I'm glad I got her help.  I think if I'd have been by myself, I would have gotten lazy and stopped somewhere to break, only to never finish.  

The craziness starts next week.  Kids-camp, summer programs for the teenagers, outings, etc...  I've still got to find a job for the fall, and possibly even something to do in the meantime while I am here.  

Prayers are appreciated...

Next week, I'm going home for a few days and I am SUPER excited.  It's my first trip home as someone who lives away.  I'm looking forward to seeing the family, lovin' on the babies, and visiting friends in Baton Rouge.  The trip is short but I am very thankful for it nonetheless.  

Upon my return, I will be just two short weeks away from Puerto Rico!  I cannot wait to see what God is going to do in the lives of our students while we are down there.  

After Puerto Rico, I'm off to Chicago for a while to see Jess, then I'm gonna go home and spend a week or two with the family before the craziness starts back here.  

Basically, the next two months of my life are jam packed with lots of things to do and see.  

In the meantime, I've been trying to get up and go running to explore my new neighborhood.  I woke up an hour later than planned today, so I'm not going to get to go as far as I would like, but I'm about to go back and do one of my new favorite runs - the Williamsburg Bridge!  From that bridge, there is a view of both Lower and Midtown Manhattan, PLUS, the two bridges south of it.  Really, I think it's the best bridge to run across in New York, and I am so thankful that God has blessed me with an apartment so close to it.  

The location of my new purple-room couldn't be more perfect.  My train ride to work is only five minutes long! The walks to and from the train can be long at times, but you really cant beat a five minute train ride when you live in Brooklyn and work in Manhattan.  Well, I guess if I lived at the Bedford stop instead of Graham I could... but still... it's a quick trip. 

Off to run!

Transitioning

The time frame I currently find myself in is a strange one.

Everything is sad.  Everything is a goodbye.  Everything is a last.  

Even packing up my classroom had an eerie sadness to it (not to mention that Brandi was pretty much depressed the whole time... that didn't help).  

I keep realizing that, when I go places and do things, it's the last time I'm doing them as a resident of Louisiana.  There's just something a bit depressing about that.  

Everything makes me nervous.  Everything scares me a little. 

Emailing people about apartments and getting responses has been more frightening than I expected.  It's a weird feeling having strangers email you and tell you they will see you on Saturday, and that you may potentially be LIVING with them.  

Realizing that I may not have a job teaching come August makes me a little nervous as well.  Not worried, just nervous.  There's a difference. 

At the end of the day, thankfully, the feeling that dominates all others is happiness, and excitement.  Though I have to remind myself often, I still know that what I am doing is what I've always wanted to do, and that I'm going to be a part of something bigger than I am.  

It makes my heart warm to know that I get to be in the city that stole my heart for good.  No more running off to it every time I get a break.  It is going to be home.  I'll miss my true home, sure, but when it comes down to it, I can't wait for what's to come.  

South Louisiana is in my Soul

I drove to Baton Rouge last night to visit with my friends.

They were wrapping up finals, and I hadn't seen many of them in a whil

e, so I thought it would be nice to go and spend time with some people I miss.  

Baseball at the Box is a fantastic way to start any weekend, so I bought a ticket early Friday morning (it still kills me to pay for a ba

seball ticket), and I took in my third LSU baseball game of the season.  Beating Florida at just about ANYTHING always makes for a good night.  We decided we wanted to play, like the old days.  

We followed the game with a trip to Celebration Station for a little mini-golf action, and I laughed more than I've laughed in a while.  I was in a giggly mood and it felt GREAT.  I realized just how much I missed my friends, and it made my time with them even sweeter.  After mini-golf (which I lost, horrifically), we went to a Circle K and got Icees.  Strawberry Icees are something no one should go very long without in lif

e.  We took them downtown, and attempted to go for a walk on the levee, but it was even sketchier down there than normal on this particular night.  As a result of the sketch-factor, we decided to go explore the Port Allen levee across the river, which Chris claimed was really nice.  It was. 

While taking in the view of Baton Rouge, I, as always, reminded myself of how truly blessed I was to spend the best years of my life there, and how, no matter what, it will always hold a special place in my heart, even if it isn't the big, booming city I prefer to live in.  

      

 We took the old bridge back, just to add to the adventure of it all.  I always thought that bridge was ultra-creepy when I lived there, but I've driven across the original Huey P. so many times in the last few months that it makes the Baton Rouge Huey seem a much less scary.  I love driving up 110 when you come around that corner where you can see the Capitol clearly.  It was a great way to end the night. 

This morning, after being lazy for a while, we got crawfish and daiquiris and ate and drank them on campus.  The weather was PERFECT, as was the company.  It was so beautiful, in fact, that Kayleigh, Caitlin, and I drove over to visit Mike, who was resting gloriously in the shade (you know, some o

f those trees they put in that 2.2 million dollar habitat of his).  

As I drove around Baton Rouge, and as I drove back home, I couldn't help but note how wonderful a time I'd had.  I couldn't stop smiling.  I have really had the best life, and am so blessed in so many ways.  I grew up in the greatest corner of the country, and am so thankful for that.  I'm also

 thankful for the opportunity to go elsewhere and see what else the world has to offer.  

South Louisiana, you will be missed. 

Thursday Night Love

I am going to miss my Thursday nights.  There are four of them left before the big move, and they are going to be the best I can possibly make them.

In college, Thursday night meant TNT, so I always made sure I had NOTHING productive to accomplish on a Thursday.  It was my night to spend with friends, watch movies, and try really hard not to think about all of the stressors affecting my life.  It worked wonders for my stress level.

I lost a little bit of it last semester when I had to babysit every Thursday, but I promised myself I would get it back. 

This semester, Thursday nights have been spent with Jessica.  She and I always make plans to do something that can only get our minds off of the real issues facing us.  I don't let myself worry about staying up too late, or being too stressed on Friday.  We usually go out for wine and cheese or something of the like.  Sometimes we go to dinner.  Sometimes, like last night, we simply sit the house and watch a movie.  It's wonderful, and necessary.  And I will miss it. 

I hope to continue this tradition somehow in New York.  For now, I'm going to make the most o the four Thursday nights with Jess that I have left before the big day.  Maybe I'll get to New York and find some great man to take me out on Thursday night dates...  until then, I have a date with Jess each and every Thursday.  Thank goodness for that! 

Good Friends, Good Times

Since this time last year when Laura Little decided to puddle-hop her way down to St. Kitts, I have not gotten the quality time with her I so cherished when she was in Baton Rouge.  These occasional Skype chats and phone calls from random New Jersey numbers just aren't the same as kicking back with a glass of wine (hoping the pretty labels tell what's inside...), and enjoying a good conversation with a good friend.

In September, my awesome friend drove three hours to go have dinner with me for an hour, and then drove back.  She is that amazing.  

Last night, I drove to Baton Rouge to meet up with her.  When I was watching the Biel children last semester, their dad gave me a gift certificate to his restaurant, The Bonefish Grill.  Dinner for two up to 45 dollars.  I finally got to use it.  Laura and I went to the fancy establishment, and she, because she is awesome, covered the difference after the 45 dollars.  We had the best time I can remember having in Louisiana in a long time.  Crab cakes, juicy filet mignon, strawberry shortcake, and two glasses of the best white wine I've ever had....  so worth the drive.  

The best part though, was the amazing girl bonding time that I've missed so much.  So many nights Laura would come to my rescue when I was having a "girl moment," and just needed someone to eat ice cream with, and to tell me to stop being silly. My heart and my mind have a hard time communicating.  My mind knows a lot of practical things that my heart tends to have a problem accepting.  There's a short in the connection.  Laura, even if only briefly, always finds a way to connect them for me.  For some reason, she never fails to make me feel better.  

I have missed this.  I miss the good company.  Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to, I cannot afford to fly down to St. Kitts each time I have Laura withdrawals.  This only perpetuates the problem.  I know we are bound to live in separate places for pretty much the rest of our lives, but I have to say, it makes driving to Baton Rouge for dinner with a friend ever so sweet.  

To my Laura, what would I do without you? 

I'll Be Back...

I love how God works sometimes.

I've been needing a pick-me-up, and a reminder of why I'm moving to New York.  A trip up there was the perfect way to do this, and boy oh boy did it change my plans.

Drastically. 

I've been trying to work out the details of my big move in my head, and the closer it got, the scarier it got.  When I landed at JFK, I was exhausted from having stayed up all night, then I had to fight the MTA as always to get to Ruth's to drop off my things.  I tend to doubt my desire to move to the city every time I get on the trains for the first time...  

As the day went on though, my exhausted delirious self began to change my opinion.  I had some quality time with Ruth, which I haven't had in a long time, and we got to talk about the joys of teaching.  Then I went into the city to show up at church, only to find out that no one was at church for the day.  I called Chris to come hang out with me, and while I waited on him, I sat in Thomkins Square Park, and it all started to come back to me.  The flowers were preparing to bloom, something I've never witnessed.  My first exposure to this park was in the middle of winter when there was NO vegetation, much less beautiful flowers. 

I had dinner with Chelsea, but by that point I could barely function.  I slept 12 hours that night...  

THEN the week really got started.  We found out that all of the Graffiti summer missionaries fell through.  This broke my heart.  We jokingly discussed the idea of having me come up for the summer, but I didn't think anything of it. 

The next day, I was waiting on the subway by myself, and admiring the people (if ever you ask me what is a must-do in the city, I will tell you people watching).  Suddenly, the wheels started turning (thank's God, I love how he does this!).  What if I saved every dime for the next month, and funded myself as a summer missionary!  No, that's not possible, right?  

Not only that, but that's only SIX WEEKS away, and I don't know that I'm ready to leave yet.... right??  

These thoughts stuck with me throughout the day, and for some reason, I kept thinking maybe God was telling me something.  I prayed about it a lot over the next couple of days, and what do you know, I started to feel comfortable with it.  So comfortable in fact that I couldn't imagine going back home and NOT coming back in a matter of weeks.  

So after much prayer, and consideration, I am now OFFICIALLY moving at the end of May.  Scary, yes.  Awesome and exciting, yes too.  

My flights kept getting cancelled before I ever even left for the airport, and I got an extra day in the city as a result.  A full 28 hours actually, which meant I got to stay for two days of after-school.  It was sooo worth it.  I may have missed a little bit more work than I would have liked, but God works in the most beautiful ways, and it even provided the opportunity for me to run into one of my favorite families at the airport before I left.  

Please keep praying that I will have the discipline to save my money, and that the doors will continue to open.  Please also pray for wisdom and guidance as I take this next step.  

Getting near to the end

After a few rough weeks, my confidence in my job choice is once again restored.  I think I'm going to be playing this roller-coaster game for a while.  They say the first couple of years are really tough, but I don't know that I'm supposed to doubt my career choice as often as I do.

These first few months are very difficult.  I'm gotten through the worst of it though, and now it should be downhill.  We have testing this week, and our kids have to bust it to help our school get up to its required performance score before going into corrective action.  They kids all seem to have given up, and we're all trying to be confident in an effort to make them want to try.  I think they can do it, I just don't think they believe in themselves.  It's a bit of a paradox. 

As far as coping with the day-to-day stresses, I've begun trying a variety of things to keep me sane.  My grandfather keeps reminding me that there's no such thing as the perfect job, and if there was, everyone would be doing it.  I have to keep that in the back of my mind when I am grading tests and they've all failed something I've gone over with them hundreds of times, or when I feel as though my classroom management skills will never be up to par.  There's no perfect job, so I have to do the best I can to excel at the one I have.  

I have also been making it a point to leave work in the walls of my classroom.  No more bringing it home every afternoon and over the weekend.  No more thinking about it day-in and day-out.  I often stay at school until five to make this possible, but when I drive out of that gate, my work for the day is done.  I can go to the gym/visit friends/eat dinner in peace.  I also make it a point to put away the computer before bed and watch an episode of Friends.  It's become a half-hour each night that I look forward to all the time.  

In college I made a habit of making Thursday nights MINE, no matter what I need to accomplish.  I've gotten back into that habit, only now I've got Jess in on it.  Each Thursday, we go out and enjoy each other's company, and we are not, under any circumstances, allowed to talk about my job.  

Things are looking up, and I'm enjoying my renewed optimism. 

I also miss people

Despite having Charlee, John, Bethany, Jessica, and Kenny here to keep me sane (okay, and I know Kenny and I do not keep each other sane, we usually end up driving each other crazy, but that is beside the point), I have many people I miss.

Mostly Laura Little, because not only does she not live around me, but I cannot simply pick up the phone and call her when I need her.  I miss her a lot, and could really use one of her talks or dinners right about now. 

That is all.

Espresso Truffles and Good Friends Getting me through.

Most days fly by.  Really, mostly because it takes me so long to get my kids to settle into class that I don't have time to do anything productive and I feel like time has flown.

I have four manageable classes, and two that I want to throw from my third story window most of the time. 

I love these kids and this work, but I'm not so sure I can see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I am missing social work and ministry, and am trying to figure out if maybe I am supposed to be working with youth on a different level. 

I miss writing as well.  I miss it a lot.  

I am to stir-crazy for a job that requires being in the same place all day every day.  I feel trapped in this building.  I don't mind the work, but even though I am more productive when I am here, come 2:30, I'm running for the door.  

Prep work can come later.  

I don't know where I'd be in this city without Charlee, John, and Bethany.  I have run to all of them countless times already since I've been here.  They keep me sane.  I spend more money crossing that bridge than I've ever spent before.  Who knew you could need a toll tag just to afford a social life?  

Unlike last semester, I am actually finding that I can be more productive when I am sitting on my couch at home than I can when I am here.  Probably because, with my parents' schedules the way they are, I practically live alone.  

Really, I live in the same house with them and I went five days last week without seeing either one of them.  It's just the way it falls. My routine has established itself though, and I am thankful for it.  Not only has it established itself, but it has done so with room for running, and a social life.  Go figure! 

I also spend countless hours at Starbucks.  

This new unique stress level has also helped me to refocus in my relationship with Jesus, which is very important.  I am thankful for stress when that is the result. 

I'm also wearing a size 8 in pants for the first time since 6th grade.  Thank you stress....

So I'm Here, now what?

I am slightly less intimidated now that I am here.

There is not nearly as much that is demanded from me at this school in comparison to Westdale, and student-teaching. Things are much simpler.

Am I prepared for tomorrow? Absolutely not.

That said, apparently no teacher ever feels fully prepared, so I am not feeling so down about that.

I really have a whole lot to do today, including preparing a science lsson for TOMORROW. I was unable to do so yesterday since the teacher I am taking over for was not here and I have no idea where her students are in the curriculum. I spent all day getting history resources together, and have PLENTY do to for that class, but when it comes to science, I am at a loss. I have the Teacher's Edition of the book, and that is all.

Do I plan on being here ALL afternoon? Absolutely.

Everyone here is really nice, and they've all been super helpful in getting me prepared for what is to come this next semester. I am definitely nervous, but my fears are slightly calmed now that I have started getting things ready. My classroom still needs work, but I am broke so going to the Educator yesterday provided me with NOTHING on the budget I am working with until the first paycheck comes (which I think is not until next week).

I got to spend some time with Bethany yesterday, which was refreshing. I am looking forward to spending more time with her this semester. I miss my Baton Rouge friends, but now that I am realizing how many people I still have here, I am getting more excited about about being here than I already was. I already have plans for just about every night this week... and I thought I had no life in this city.

Home Away From Home

Sunday night, I went to New York.

Bible Study was cancelled, and Mondays are pretty free, so I decided to drive the back-roads to New Haven and take the Metro-North into the city. Chelsea was kind enough to accomodate for me last minute by letting me stay on her couch, even though she already had a guest in town. I had the opportunity to have coffee and go shopping with Ema, my supervisor from last summer, at the same Starbucks where we parted ways last July. We then went to my pastor's house where my friend Ashley was housesitting. It was wonderful just sitting around the living room and catching up with two of my favorite people, and feeling so at home. Ashley and I then went to dinner at Max Brenner, and ordered the amazing tutti fruitti waffles (probably my favorite dinner in the world... if you can call it dinner). I felt like I had never left. This trip was a definite necessity. They almost convinced me to come back next week and help with the kid's program, which I willingly volunteered to do and very plausibly could have accomplished (with the help of people back home who would pay for my plane ticket back to New Orleans), but I decided it's definitely time to get back and get things settled in the BR. I will have many many more chances to help out at Graffiti in the future.

Yesterday I drove four youth up to Boston for the day. After some last minute changes of plans, we ended up having a successful day in the city. I absolutely adore Boston, and am looking forward to being there againt his weekend for debriefing (even though sadly it means I will be saying goodbye). The kids really seemed to enjoy it. I brought along someone from the church who goes to school up there to help us get around and show us some of the "insider" things in Boston, which he willingly did. It was great to see these kids enjoy things like their first subway ride, and their first taste of Indian food (mmmmm!), along with educating them in pop-culture history (two of them had never heard of Cheers!). Through this trip, God definitely showed me how things that dont necessarily go the way they were planned can still turn out to be a great experience.

While in Boston, I recieved an email telling me my student-teaching placement. I am going to be at Westdale Middle School teaching with Mrs. Davidson. From what I gathered, I think it will be the first half of US History (yay!). So walking around Boston, it was quite neat to be observing sites I was going to be teaching about in just a month or so! Though the EBR schools system's early start date may prevent me from going to New Mexico next week (I am working on getting another place to observe the first-day-of-school), I am thoroughly excited about going back at the end of August to be there full time for the next four months.

Less than a month to go

It's amazing how one group of people can really get under your skin.

I miss Graffiti and the people there SEAUX much I cannot express.

Last semester, I missed them, an the city, but I had football to distract me and remind me of how wonderful it is to be in South Louisiana in the fall. This semester on the other hand, I am spending my week wishing more than anything that I could just graduate and move up North already! GRRR I cannot wait!

In less than one month, I get to go visit for a week, which I guess will have to do for now. I am pretty excited, considering Charlotte, Ashley, and I are all visiting at once. Leaving is always the hard part though. At least when I get back I will have Easter crawfish waiting for me.