It's been great watching the Lord provide more and more as Christmas approached. I've been super busy, but at least I have money, even if I am behind on some bills. I have faith that he's taking care of that.
I've also gotten to see his provision in the Graffiti youth ministry. As our youth minister is leaving, we have been worried about what next semester would look like. I have not had the time or resources to commit myself to taking over, even if only temporarily, and it's been bugging me. After lots of prayer, God has allowed some doors to open to fix the time and resources issue, and I am super thankful for that. Programs should continue as always, and it's all because of him.
I've been dealing with some personal issues of my own in the last month or so too, in an area of my life I've always had trouble giving over to the Lord. I have decided, that since I can't seem to rely on him AND make it a part of my life, I'm totally giving this to him and not allowing it to be a part of my life at all for a little while. I'm essentially going on a "Romance Fast" as I am calling it. Every time I start to daydream, every time I want to watch a romantic movie or read a romantic book, I'm going to take that as a time to pray and focus on the Lord. I'm not doing the whole "Every guy I meet is potential" thing for a while. I'm not going to allow myself to lose confidence and be sad, I'm just going to totally turn it over. No more doing ANY of it on my own. None whatsoever. I think this is the only way I can stop allowing myself to get so sad over this one stinkin' little thing. I know he has it all laid out, and it's been hard for me to accept on a number of levels, but I'm giving it all over. That said, I'm going to need prayer as I do this. Lots of it. I've always been a hopeless romantic, and I'm giving that up for a while. It's a rough road, but I know that it's for the better and I'm going to be much happier. No more emotional masochism.
Soo, 2010 is going to be a year of change in my life and in the life of my church. I'm anxious to see where the Lord is taking it.
