when the SAINTS go marching in

I've never missed New Orleans more than I missed it Sunday night.

And I'd only been there five days before.

But here I was, in an apartment in Harlem, in a room full of black and gold, and jambalaya, with people I'd just met who all shared a common love: A City and a Team that for so long has lived as an underdog, and now, people care.

I've felt it all season. Almost every Tuesday afternoon these past few months, someone has walked up to me and said something like "Congratulations." or "We're so happy for you right now."

Why?

Because of a football team. A football team that for 43 years has seen many many downs, and not many ups.

For as long as I can remember "When the Saints go to the Superbowl" has been used in place of a more cliche "When Hell freezes over." We never thought it would happen. We wanted to believe it, and we dug down, and we had faith. Faith people no where else understand. We were that team that the other teams rested their starters against. We were not a team you had to bring your A-game to.

And now, after all this time, our day has come.

We were criticized for spending 200 million dollars to rebuild a stadium when there were thousands of people still homeless.

Ask any of those homeless people in New Orleans four years ago, and each and every one of them would tell you they'd rather have that stadium up and running. We don't function well without our Saints.

And back they came, roaring, with a new team, a new coach, and a new agenda.

Carry the ball for the people.

I remember in 2006 the joy I experienced when we earned a first-round bye. I remember going home for a few weeks at Christmastime, and there was a different air in the city. It felt like a different place. New Orleans no longer felt like the city that care forgot. It felt like a city that had hope. They saw hope in those boys, and their eyes were focused on the road ahead.

I remember winning the divisional playoffs, and realizing in tears that we were, in fact, only one game away from the Superbowl. Letting that sink in was intense.

I remember the pain of losing that Championship game, and being just-shy of the glory that could have been. What I remember most is thinking that the Saints had done just what we always knew they did. Sweet victories wouldn't be as sweet if they were good all the time.

LSU has my heart, and I cannot imagine being more excited and proud on the fourth row at that BCS National Championship game. I screamed and shouted, I pinched myself a few times, but I felt nothing like this. And we all know, I love LSU a wee bit more than my Saints.

But LSU is good most of the time. Or at least decent.

The Saints are a different story altogether. When the Saints are good, it means something. And it gets under your skin. I love those boys. I love how they are a part of the city. I love how they care. I love how they know what it means to us.

I may not live in New Orleans anymore, but New Orleans lives in me. Cheezy as that may sound. I can almost promise you that I will end up back there. I can't seem to keep myself away. I know the Lord has me in New York right now for good reasons, and I am learning so much in turn, but boy do I miss that city. Especially now.

There was a video that nola.com posted of a bar in the quarter where people were watching the game. And watching that last moment, I felt everything I felt Sunday night on Madison Avenue. I felt the tears rush back, and I watched those people in that video scream and shout and cry and pour out into the streets and celebrate. The whole city celebrated, brass bands came out of nowhere and marched down the street like it was Mardi Gras day.

I wanted to be in that number.

Saints Video: Bourbon Street

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

I just finished reading Donald Miller's latest book, which shares a title with this post. I think it's my favorite of his books yet.

The book is about living out a great story. Since I'm always trying to live out my own personal "movie," I totally related to this. Basically, he's approached by movie producers who want to make a film about his memoir, and he realizes that his life is actually quite boring, as they are having to add story elements to make a better picture.

A lot of things stood out to me about this book, and I thought I'd share some of them.

In grand Donald Miller style, he is very open about his feelings. No holding back. He shares how when going through a hard situation, God allowed him to be numb long enough for the initial shock to wear off, and then he had one big night where he bore the brunt of it all, and then he was fine. I've been there. It's such a gift the way God carries us through those situations. I've had many of them in the last year or so, and this take on it stood out to me.

He spends most of the book trying to do things that make is life more interesting and eventful. He takes on endeavors he never thought he could handle, to add that element of conflict to his story. He builds up to them well. This is something I feel we could all use a little more of. Pushing ourselves to the limit. We are daily facing conflict, but how many of those conflicts are significant? I know most of mine are not.

He also points out that in stories, there is always a resolution to the conflict, but in life, there often is not, and we simply have to move on to the next story. The next scene in the grand picture. I recently thought to myself, before I went on this whole "romantic fast" thing, that I felt like I was living out a movie and I was just waiting on the "ending" where everything is good. In a movie, you know that it will end in some sort of resolution that is exciting and inspirational. It got my hopes up.

The problem was, I wasn't looking for God's resolution, I was looking for my resolution. Now, I'm realizing that the only person who knows the right ending is him. When we are waiting out our own stories, we are not always enjoying the ride. We are complaining that we aren't at the end yet. Why is it that we can sit through a 2 hour movie and not be waiting for the conflict to be over, but we can't do the same in life.

Enjoy the drama. Enjoy the ups and downs. Realize that God has an ending for you that will blow your mind in a way that no film ever could. God resolves. Allow him to do so. In the process, allow him to prepare you for it.

On that note, read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

And it's almost over :(

Last day in Louisiana. Not really sure how I feel about this.

Usually when I'm away from wherever it is I live, I am anxious to get back to all the things I left behind. especially when it is New York.

But right now, for some reason, I can't seem to make myself want to go back. I miss the kids. I miss my church, but I don't miss being broke and stressed and overworked.

I'm really praying about what it is God has in store for next school year. I want to teach again. Really bad. I want a job that allows me to pay off my student loans, really bad.

I've gotten very good at managing money, but I'm not really making enough of it to survive or pay off loans or anything. Which drives me crazy. I want to get those loans paid off ASAP so I can serve the Lord wherever and whenever he pleases so without worry about them.

Whatever it takes to work next year, I will do. I don't want to leave New York, but if that's what it takes, I will have to make it happen. I figure it's more important for me to make myself available to him in the future than it is to worry about doing everything right now. I'm trying to stop rushing through life. So, if it takes moving somewhere to get a job so I can concentrate on paying back loans, then I will.

This is How We Do it Where I'm From

Sugar Overload

When I return to New York, I am going on a full detox. Nothing but fruits and veggies, fresh ones, for two weeks....

or something like that.

Before heading down here, I started to notice that I've been really inactive and really unhealthy lately, which is strange, cuz I'm usually overly active and overly healthy.

So I decided it was time to try to fight the cold, deal with it, and get back into a routine. Somehow, someway.

Then I realized I was headed to Louisiana. And upon my arrival, I shoved down two pieces of king cake. This has since been followed by a series of delicious baked goods, and fried delicious food I can't get in New York.

I have now decided I'm going to eat whatever I choose to this week, even though it makes me feel like crap, because it tastes good.

And maybe I'll go for one of my long uptown runs to celebrate, or a nice run down the levee tomorrow in Baton Rouge. Who knows.

I'm LOVING vacation time in New Orleans. I cannot even describe. It feels so nice to be in a stress-free zone, with nice weather, and good food. It's kinda hard to think about how I could be here enjoying it, not fat, and not broke. THEN I am reminded that the Lord knew exactly what he was doing when he moved me to New York, and I am more than thankful for that.

SOOOOOOO I am excited about all of the things God is doing in my life. I am also super thankful that he brought me up in such a wonderful, unique, culturally enriching place. I don't know if it's in his plans that I come back here one day, but if it is, I would in no way be upset about that.

I shall now go and enjoy snowballs and king cake and all of the sugary goodies my mom has in the kitchen.

The Lord is Good

Due to the wonderful provision of the Lord, we have kicked off the 2010 spring semester at Graffiti. I am super excited about what he is doing in the lives of these kids. They truly amaze me and are a blessing to my life each and every day.

In my own life, I started a new journey recently, one that involves letting go of some of the things I've been holding back from the Lord in my own life. I now see my life as a circle, kinda like a pie. And in that circle, there was a large chunk that I was trying to control myself. The rest of the "pie" was what I was letting God handle. I had given it all to him, but that small piece, I kept thinking was insignificant, because, after all, the Lord had MOST of my life, so why couldn't I have some of it?

STUPID

That's all I can say. I was trying to fill that little pie with things that I thought would remedy the problem at hand. A personal problem I've been working on for years. In that, I was allowing things to try to fill that piece, and those things were, against my knowledge, spilling over into the part that God controls. This is how it works. This is the way our lives are.

I've learned that without giving God EVERYTHING, we are contaminating ourselves. I also learned that it is entirely possible to be trying to control part of your own life without realizing it. I had no idea I wasn't giving that to God. I just kept trying to do it my way and SAYING God is is in control. I was wrong. Lying to myself, and to others.

The Lord spoke to me through a few wise friends, and some quality reading, and told me I need to stop trying to take over ANY part of my life and give it all over.

And what do you know, it works. Immediately I feel like a new person. I finally feel complete and satisfied in him alone. BUT, in order for this to happen, I had to consciously hand this over to him. I had to come to a point where I let go of a few of my own loves, that I didn't even realize were harmful, because, on the surface, they weren't. BUT in terms of MY life, they were barriers. Stumbling blocks. I had to give them up.

ever since, I haven't looked back.

I now feel like everything the Lord is telling me to do is coming in much clearer than before. I feel complete without some of the earthly desires I always thought I had to have. I've stopped rushing my life, and now I'm taking every day as a blessing and each trial as a building point.

God is good.