Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Lord is Good

Due to the wonderful provision of the Lord, we have kicked off the 2010 spring semester at Graffiti. I am super excited about what he is doing in the lives of these kids. They truly amaze me and are a blessing to my life each and every day.

In my own life, I started a new journey recently, one that involves letting go of some of the things I've been holding back from the Lord in my own life. I now see my life as a circle, kinda like a pie. And in that circle, there was a large chunk that I was trying to control myself. The rest of the "pie" was what I was letting God handle. I had given it all to him, but that small piece, I kept thinking was insignificant, because, after all, the Lord had MOST of my life, so why couldn't I have some of it?


That's all I can say. I was trying to fill that little pie with things that I thought would remedy the problem at hand. A personal problem I've been working on for years. In that, I was allowing things to try to fill that piece, and those things were, against my knowledge, spilling over into the part that God controls. This is how it works. This is the way our lives are.

I've learned that without giving God EVERYTHING, we are contaminating ourselves. I also learned that it is entirely possible to be trying to control part of your own life without realizing it. I had no idea I wasn't giving that to God. I just kept trying to do it my way and SAYING God is is in control. I was wrong. Lying to myself, and to others.

The Lord spoke to me through a few wise friends, and some quality reading, and told me I need to stop trying to take over ANY part of my life and give it all over.

And what do you know, it works. Immediately I feel like a new person. I finally feel complete and satisfied in him alone. BUT, in order for this to happen, I had to consciously hand this over to him. I had to come to a point where I let go of a few of my own loves, that I didn't even realize were harmful, because, on the surface, they weren't. BUT in terms of MY life, they were barriers. Stumbling blocks. I had to give them up.

ever since, I haven't looked back.

I now feel like everything the Lord is telling me to do is coming in much clearer than before. I feel complete without some of the earthly desires I always thought I had to have. I've stopped rushing my life, and now I'm taking every day as a blessing and each trial as a building point.

God is good.

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