I kept thinking of that football game, and how, when I made that decision, right there on the 40 yard line, to become a Tiger, I never imagined how fast it would go by. I don't think I ever actually pictured the end ever getting here.
I had a good bit of fun, and now, that part of my life is over. It still hasn't completely sunken in yet. It's strange to think that next time I go to Baton Rouge, it will be to pick up my things and leave forever. I still feel like as soon as the Christmas season is over, and upon return from the Atlanta trip, I will be going back to the normal routine I have grown accustomed to.
But I won't.
In two weeks, I will have a classroom of my own, and responsibilities I cannot yet imagine.
Okay, I'll be honest, I'm not really sure I want to imagine them.
It's also strange that right now, I don't really have any responsibility. I woke up this morning, finished It Never Rains in Tiger Stadium, a book in which John Ed Bradley talks of emotions and uncertainties I am all too familiar with right now (except the whole football thing). I then watched a little television, and finally left the house to fight Westbank traffic and run an errand for my mom. I ended up at Starbucks. After all, where else does one go when one has no responsibility. I am finished Christmas shopping, and truly cannot afford to do any other shopping since I have no more income until that first pay check comes through next month. So I sit, and wait, and read. Lots of reading. I've got lots of catching up to do. Out of fear of spending this money I do not have, I have banned myself from visiting the Sports, Biography, History, Children's, and Local sections of Barnes and Noble.
This basically leaves self-help and fiction, which are not worth fighting crowds to explore. This is not to say there aren't other sections at the BN, but those are the only other two I might possibly buy from, and frankly, I just don't feel like getting out to look through them.
Call me a hermit.
I will have no life this semester, which is probably a good thing, considering I have three different preps (meaning, I have to write and prepare lessons for three different classes). January 5th seems eerily closer than I would like for it to be. I once was very excited about teaching, but I'm not so sure anymore.
I want to write, I've always wanted to write, and eventually I will. Now that I'm about to begin my career, I am more and more certain that I want to write, eventually to the point where I don't have to have a teaching career anymore.
How certain am I though? That's the scary part...
So for now, I'm going with the career which fits my degree, and I will later go back and get more degrees, because lets face it, I love school and learning. Once I have gotten into the swing of things, I fully intend to do part time school and keep this whole education thing going.
Until then, I guess I will have to see if I fall back in love with teaching once I have a classroom of my own.
So yeah, I've graduated, and I am fully in quarter-life crisis mode.