Monday, December 22, 2008

Now What?

Five years and a couple of months after the LSU-Georgia game of 2003, I walked across a stage in the Pete Maravich Assembly Center and received a degree, or at least a diploma cover (they give you the actually diploma after the ceremony).

I kept thinking of that football game, and how, when I made that decision, right there on the 40 yard line, to become a Tiger, I never imagined how fast it would go by.  I don't think I ever actually pictured the end ever getting here.  

I had a good bit of fun, and now, that part of my life is over.  It still hasn't completely sunken in yet.  It's strange to think that next time I go to Baton Rouge, it will be to pick up my things and leave forever.  I still feel like as soon as the Christmas season is over, and upon return from the Atlanta trip, I will be going back to the normal routine I have grown accustomed to.

But I won't. 

In two weeks, I will have a classroom of my own, and responsibilities I cannot yet imagine.  

Okay, I'll be honest, I'm not really sure I want to imagine them. 

It's also strange that right now, I don't really have any responsibility. I woke up this morning, finished It Never Rains in Tiger Stadium, a book in which John Ed Bradley talks of emotions and uncertainties I am all too familiar with right now (except the whole football thing).  I then watched a little television, and finally left the house to fight Westbank traffic and run an errand for my mom.  I ended up at Starbucks.  After all, where else does one go when one has no responsibility.  I am finished Christmas shopping, and truly cannot afford to do any other shopping since I have no more income until that first pay check comes through next month. So I sit, and wait, and read.  Lots of reading.  I've got lots of catching up to do.  Out of fear of spending this money I do not have, I have banned myself from visiting the Sports, Biography, History, Children's, and Local sections of Barnes and Noble.  

This basically leaves self-help and fiction, which are not worth fighting crowds to explore.  This is not to say there aren't other sections at the BN, but those are the only other two I might possibly buy from, and frankly, I just don't feel like getting out to look through them.  

Call me a hermit.  

I will have no life this semester, which is probably a good thing, considering I have three different preps (meaning, I have to write and prepare lessons for three different classes). January 5th seems eerily closer than I would like for it to be.  I once was very excited about teaching, but I'm not so sure anymore.  

I want to write, I've always wanted to write, and eventually I will.  Now that I'm about to begin my career, I am more and more certain that I want to write, eventually to the point where I don't have to have a teaching career anymore.  

How certain am I though?  That's the scary part...  

So for now, I'm going with the career which fits my degree, and I will later go back and get more degrees, because lets face it, I love school and learning.   Once I have gotten into the swing of things, I fully intend to do part time school and keep this whole education thing going. 

Until then, I guess I will have to see if I fall back in love with teaching once I have a classroom of my own.  

So yeah, I've graduated, and I am fully in quarter-life crisis mode. 

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