"Start Spreadin' The News. I'm Leavin' Today"

Sitting in Louis Armstrong always makes for an interesting morning.

This one is even more so. 

This time around, I have no return flight booked.  I'm leaving "home" for the last time, and from now on, when I am here, it will be as a guest.  

This is all finally starting to hit me.  

I'm excited, thrilled really, so don't get me wrong, but there's a charm I'm going to miss here that I just don't get anywhere else.  (not to mention family, friends, etc...)

The comfort bubble is GONE from this point on.  No matter how much I convince myself that New York is within my comfort zone, I am giving up a lot to go.  Sacrifice is important, though.  I can't imagine not going at this point.  

So the next posts will be about my adventures BACK in the city.  For good. 

Transitioning

The time frame I currently find myself in is a strange one.

Everything is sad.  Everything is a goodbye.  Everything is a last.  

Even packing up my classroom had an eerie sadness to it (not to mention that Brandi was pretty much depressed the whole time... that didn't help).  

I keep realizing that, when I go places and do things, it's the last time I'm doing them as a resident of Louisiana.  There's just something a bit depressing about that.  

Everything makes me nervous.  Everything scares me a little. 

Emailing people about apartments and getting responses has been more frightening than I expected.  It's a weird feeling having strangers email you and tell you they will see you on Saturday, and that you may potentially be LIVING with them.  

Realizing that I may not have a job teaching come August makes me a little nervous as well.  Not worried, just nervous.  There's a difference. 

At the end of the day, thankfully, the feeling that dominates all others is happiness, and excitement.  Though I have to remind myself often, I still know that what I am doing is what I've always wanted to do, and that I'm going to be a part of something bigger than I am.  

It makes my heart warm to know that I get to be in the city that stole my heart for good.  No more running off to it every time I get a break.  It is going to be home.  I'll miss my true home, sure, but when it comes down to it, I can't wait for what's to come.  

Magazine Street + CC's Iced Latte + 79 degrees on a spring day = Happiness

God's little blessings need to be noted.

Today was a fairly easy day at work, and afterward, I got to go home at a decent time (something that's been happening a LOT lately!).  My parents invited me out to dinner, so after going to fill out the sad paperwork that terminates my gym membership at the end of the month, we went to eat, and I decided that, since it was still fairly early, I'd come take in the late afternoon on my favorite street.  

I don't have many Magazine Street afternoons left to enjoy.  I thought it best to take advantage of the weather and make the most of the day God has blessed me with.  

I brought along my Apologetics Study Bible, which as become a good friend of mine lately, and the notebook in which I've been keeping notes an thoughts in preparation for my upcoming ministry experience.  I've never felt more prepared going into a summer of missions as I do now, but maybe that's because, this time around, I have experience.  It's been awesome seeing God's work in my life lately.  I feel refreshed and reenergized.  Like my own private revival.  It's been great, truly.  

This city never ceases to make me smile.  no matter how much I may say I'm ready to leave, and no matter how many times I might count down the days, I really am going to have a hard time being away from some of the pleasures of my great home.  

In the words of Bob Dylan:  "There are a lot of places I like, but I like New Orleans better." 

I am so thankful to God for bringing me into the world in such a beautiful and unique place.  I am also thankful for parents who always made me appreciate my roots.  

For the next ten days, I'm soaking it up.  Praise the Lord for weather like this!  There's truly NOTHING like a spring day in South Louisiana. 

Stepping Out on Faith

Faith.

It's one of those words we hear often, usually thrown about in the midst of some sermon about salvation, and often taken for granted.  

Lately though, for me, every time I hear the word faith, it has struck a nerve.  Every time.  

Needless to say, it was amazing to me this morning when Pastor Mike told us that his entire sermon was going to be about people with the gift of faith.  The gift of faith, wow, now I get it.  

You see, I'm not a worrier.  Sure I struggle with things, and sure sometimes I panic, but when it comes down to it, I always know God has it under control.  This, usually, to others, ends up seeming crazy.  

The last couple of summers, when I served as a summer missionary, I had LOTS to do and prepare, and often, it seemed to everyone else that I didn't have all of my ducks in a row because I didn't know 100% what I was getting myself into months before I left and didn't have everything ready to go.  For example, it was two days before I left last summer when I finally got someone to sublet my apartment and pay the rent I wasn't sure I would be able to pay while I was gone.  Interestingly enough, I never worried about that.  Not once.  I knew God had led me to New England, and I prayed that he would put all of those details into place, and even when it seemed that I should start worrying, I didn't.  

I've been dealing with this a lot lately.  Everyone is super freaked-out over my big move, but I am not in the least worried about anything.  When it comes to doing God's will, I never have any worries.  I know God has led me to New York, and when the opportunity came up to do what seemed like something completely nuts, I took it.  

Chris Belser told me the other day that when he was talking to my former mentor-teacher, she kept telling him how she worried about me moving to New York and not having a job lined up for the fall.  I laughed.  I am not at all worried about this.  Pastor Mike said this morning that people who do not have the gift of faith don't understand those of us who do and the decisions we often make.  We are not confined by our circumstances.  We do things that often seem crazy.  This is when I realized this was one of my gifts.  A gift I am extremely thankful for.  

I'm going to New York in less than three weeks.  I have a little bit of savings.  I have a couch to crash on for a little while.  No I do not know where I'm going to live.  No I do not know where I'll be working in the fall.  What I do know is that I am going to be a part of a ministry that changed my life, and I get the greatest joy knowing that.  I also know that God may be using this opportunity to lead me into something that satisfies my hear more than teaching.  Something that uses my gifts in a more fitting way. 

Do I know how this is going to play out in terms of my finances? No.  But I have a feeling God has that under control.  

I have situations in my life that I have a hard time turning over to God, but I've come to realize that even those things are out of my control, and that he knows what he's doing.  Today we read the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel.  She wanted more than anything to have a child, and she was not able to.  She was always a faithful person, but she had difficulty dealing with this issue.  Finally, she cried out to God, and let him handle it.  She stopped trying to handle it herself.  And whatd'ya know, he took care of it.  He knows what he's doing. We learn from waiting for things.  I've cried out to God to deal with my own issues that I have a hard time letting him handle, and I feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. 

I cannot express the peace I feel in this decision to move.  It's the most comforting and beautiful feeling I've ever had.  I wish I could share it with others so they could see the adventure I am embarking upon and feel this beauty for themselves.  Then they might understand.  

For now, I'm going to enjoy the "Are you nuts?" looks I get from people when I tell them where I'm going and what I'm doing.  

South Louisiana is in my Soul

I drove to Baton Rouge last night to visit with my friends.

They were wrapping up finals, and I hadn't seen many of them in a whil

e, so I thought it would be nice to go and spend time with some people I miss.  

Baseball at the Box is a fantastic way to start any weekend, so I bought a ticket early Friday morning (it still kills me to pay for a ba

seball ticket), and I took in my third LSU baseball game of the season.  Beating Florida at just about ANYTHING always makes for a good night.  We decided we wanted to play, like the old days.  

We followed the game with a trip to Celebration Station for a little mini-golf action, and I laughed more than I've laughed in a while.  I was in a giggly mood and it felt GREAT.  I realized just how much I missed my friends, and it made my time with them even sweeter.  After mini-golf (which I lost, horrifically), we went to a Circle K and got Icees.  Strawberry Icees are something no one should go very long without in lif

e.  We took them downtown, and attempted to go for a walk on the levee, but it was even sketchier down there than normal on this particular night.  As a result of the sketch-factor, we decided to go explore the Port Allen levee across the river, which Chris claimed was really nice.  It was. 

While taking in the view of Baton Rouge, I, as always, reminded myself of how truly blessed I was to spend the best years of my life there, and how, no matter what, it will always hold a special place in my heart, even if it isn't the big, booming city I prefer to live in.  

      

 We took the old bridge back, just to add to the adventure of it all.  I always thought that bridge was ultra-creepy when I lived there, but I've driven across the original Huey P. so many times in the last few months that it makes the Baton Rouge Huey seem a much less scary.  I love driving up 110 when you come around that corner where you can see the Capitol clearly.  It was a great way to end the night. 

This morning, after being lazy for a while, we got crawfish and daiquiris and ate and drank them on campus.  The weather was PERFECT, as was the company.  It was so beautiful, in fact, that Kayleigh, Caitlin, and I drove over to visit Mike, who was resting gloriously in the shade (you know, some o

f those trees they put in that 2.2 million dollar habitat of his).  

As I drove around Baton Rouge, and as I drove back home, I couldn't help but note how wonderful a time I'd had.  I couldn't stop smiling.  I have really had the best life, and am so blessed in so many ways.  I grew up in the greatest corner of the country, and am so thankful for that.  I'm also

 thankful for the opportunity to go elsewhere and see what else the world has to offer.  

South Louisiana, you will be missed. 

Humility

A couple of years ago at Sojourn Tuesday night Bible study, Andrew had us do an exercise of sorts.  He gave us each a blank sheet of paper and some colored pencils and told us to draw a landscape that reminded us of God's glory.  Something that, when we looked at it, we were humbled and in awe.

Immediately, I began drawing just that, and as Andrew looked down at my paper, he noted "Danielle, this doesn't mean draw New York City," (despite the fact that he also has served as a summer missionary there).  I assured him that I had a good explanation.  

Truth be told, there is a warm feeling in my heart every time I get a glimpse of the city lights, especially when riding across one of the bridges on the subway.  All I can think is "wow, God, thank you for this."  It never fails.  I once read a book that called such moments "kisses from God."  When I look at such things, that is exactly what it feels like.  The sights, the smells, the people, are all reminders of how amazing God is, and I am humbled.  Just think, each of the people you come into contact with on the streets each day was created by him with as much detail and attentiveness as the next person.  We are each precious creations to him.  

The buildings, the lights, the bridges, are all miracles to me.  I'm amazed that God gave us the creative ability to engineer such marvels.  In the end though, it is he who makes each possible.  

Isaiah 66:2 says "My hand made all of these things, and so they came into being.  I will look favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble and submissive in spirit, and who trembles at my word."

I don't know about you, but for me, being looked upon favorably by God has got to be the greatest thing possible.  I often have to second guess how favorably he looks upon me, and I won't lie, I tend to forget these sorts of things sometimes.  Today though, I was running through Uptown New Orleans and realizing that he made all of that beauty possible.  I was reminded of the exercise Andrew had us do, and tonight, while having some quality time with my amazing God (what a privilege!), he brought me to that verse.  

Once again, I am humbled.  Fo real. 

Thursday Night Love

I am going to miss my Thursday nights.  There are four of them left before the big move, and they are going to be the best I can possibly make them.

In college, Thursday night meant TNT, so I always made sure I had NOTHING productive to accomplish on a Thursday.  It was my night to spend with friends, watch movies, and try really hard not to think about all of the stressors affecting my life.  It worked wonders for my stress level.

I lost a little bit of it last semester when I had to babysit every Thursday, but I promised myself I would get it back. 

This semester, Thursday nights have been spent with Jessica.  She and I always make plans to do something that can only get our minds off of the real issues facing us.  I don't let myself worry about staying up too late, or being too stressed on Friday.  We usually go out for wine and cheese or something of the like.  Sometimes we go to dinner.  Sometimes, like last night, we simply sit the house and watch a movie.  It's wonderful, and necessary.  And I will miss it. 

I hope to continue this tradition somehow in New York.  For now, I'm going to make the most o the four Thursday nights with Jess that I have left before the big day.  Maybe I'll get to New York and find some great man to take me out on Thursday night dates...  until then, I have a date with Jess each and every Thursday.  Thank goodness for that!