Everything is sad. Everything is a goodbye. Everything is a last.
Even packing up my classroom had an eerie sadness to it (not to mention that Brandi was pretty much depressed the whole time... that didn't help).
I keep realizing that, when I go places and do things, it's the last time I'm doing them as a resident of Louisiana. There's just something a bit depressing about that.
Everything makes me nervous. Everything scares me a little.
Emailing people about apartments and getting responses has been more frightening than I expected. It's a weird feeling having strangers email you and tell you they will see you on Saturday, and that you may potentially be LIVING with them.
Realizing that I may not have a job teaching come August makes me a little nervous as well. Not worried, just nervous. There's a difference.
At the end of the day, thankfully, the feeling that dominates all others is happiness, and excitement. Though I have to remind myself often, I still know that what I am doing is what I've always wanted to do, and that I'm going to be a part of something bigger than I am.
It makes my heart warm to know that I get to be in the city that stole my heart for good. No more running off to it every time I get a break. It is going to be home. I'll miss my true home, sure, but when it comes down to it, I can't wait for what's to come.
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