It is a given in the education world. It is a job that has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with everyone else.
You are not only accountable to yourself, but you are accountable to your school, your system, your state, and most of all, your students.
This creates a highly stressful situation. If I screw up, I screw up for a whole lot of people.
I'm learning how to get through to my students, but it is hard, and I have no idea how I'm going to get them through the rest of the curriculum by the end of the year at the rate at which they are learning.
They don't pay attention, and sadly, the fact that those who pay attention aren't learning anything is almost out of my control.
In the process of this stress, combined with last semester, I've lost a grand total of twenty-five pounds, and two pants sizes. Not two DRESS sizes, two PANTS sizes (girls, you know the difference). I don't see the gradual decrease changing either.
This is a side effect of stress I'm okay with.
Through all of this, I do love my job, despite the fact that I haven't gotten paid for any of it yet and am highly broke. My kids, even the bad ones, bring me joy and a sense of accomplishment. If all I get to do is make them smile, then I feel I've done something.
I am starting to see the light in all of this craziness.